The REAL Vitacco household (Summer time 1985):
Frank (rear), Nicky, Vinnie, and Frankie
Being a father has remodeled my life because the second I held my new child son, Jemal, shortly after his delivery on November 21, 1969. Amid tears of pleasure and reduction that each my spouse and child got here by way of the delivery course of alive and effectively, I made a vow that I’d be a unique type of father than my father was in a position to be for me and to do every thing I may to create a world the place males had been totally engaged with their households all through their lives.
I wrote in regards to the therapeutic journey of my father and me in my e book, My Distant Dad: Therapeutic the Household Father Wound. At first of the e book, I supplied the next quotes that captured the essence of the daddy wound for me:
“A father could also be bodily current however absent in spirit. His absence could also be literal by way of loss of life, divorce or dysfunction, however extra typically it’s a symbolic absence by way of silence and the shortcoming to transmit what he additionally might not have acquired.” James Hollis
“Youngsters have a gap of their soul within the form of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that position, it may well go away a wound that isn’t simply healed.” Roland Warren.
Within the introduction I stated this:
“There may be one downside that surpasses all others in its affect on males, ladies, and society. It’s the household father wound. We concentrate on the significance of moms in figuring out the well-being of kids, but, with out the help of their fathers, males turn into puppets on a string, disconnected from their true selves, feeling that others are controlling their lives. The household father wound would be the most pervasive, most necessary, and least-recognized downside going through males and their households at the moment.”
Along with the memoir about how I healed and handed a extra wholesome legacy to my youngsters, I created a workbook and course for women and men who’ve skilled the daddy wound.
Guys Night time: A New Movie For Everybody Who Cares Concerning the Way forward for Our Youngsters
It isn’t stunning that I’ve a passionate curiosity in males’s psychological, emotional, and relational well being or that I’d reply positively to the next e mail I acquired just lately:
Hello Dr. Diamond,
I’m a filmmaker at the moment elevating funds for *Guys Night time*, a robust narrative movie impressed by my very own childhood — rising up with a single dad in Nineteen Eighties Chicago. The movie explores emotional resilience, masculinity, and fatherhood post-divorce.
Your work has deeply impressed our strategy. I’d like to discover methods we’d collaborate — whether or not by way of a MenAlive e-newsletter function, a visitor weblog publish in regards to the movie’s message, or a podcast dialog about how storytelling may also help males heal.
Thanks for the unimaginable work you do.
Warmly,
Niko Vitacco
I used to be excited to satisfy with Niko and the director of the movie, Dave Eichhorn. I discovered in regards to the venture and needed to help it:
Anthony Vitello, a husband and father, is doing every thing he can to supply stability for his household. His spouse Helen, a younger mom, loves their boys, however is torn between wanting a household life and a lifetime of her personal. When she leaves, Anthony finds himself elevating their three boys and repeatedly struggling to maintain his household collectively. Tony, Dominic, and Vinny are a close-knit, rambunctious bunch of pre-adolescent knuckleheads, however they imply every thing to their father.
In a world the place fathers are too typically absent, I used to be deeply moved by the story of a father who stayed and raised his youngsters. I used to be much more impressed by Niko’s dedication to create a movie that offers us a glimpse right into a world that’s all too acquainted. I just lately did an interview with Niko Vitacco and Eave Eichhorn. You possibly can see Niko and his two brothers alongside together with his father within the image at the start of the article. You possibly can watch my full interview right here.
Niko says,
“Our purpose is to make clear the fact of divorce inside households. As a child who grew up solely understanding divorce and seeing the struggles it’s introduced through the years to my mother and father and siblings, I’ve additionally been witness to the sweetness and enlightenment on how to deal with it, develop, and be a greater particular person. We really feel that presenting this material to cinema in a nostalgic and relatable method will be therapeutic. There’s a lot worth in bringing and protecting households collectively, amidst tough circumstances.”
I really like writing books and have written seventeen over the past forty-plus years. However I really like to observe movies that talk to the center and soul of therapeutic. A e book is simply as highly effective because the tales and emotions it brings out in folks. An image, it’s stated, is value a thousand phrases.
If, like me, you want to see Niko’s story and his highly effective movie get accomplished and out there to the world, right here’s what you are able to do. Go to their webpage and study how one can assist. If you’re a person or group that works with males, that is your likelihood to assist make a constructive distinction for males and their households.
“We’re a SAG low price range indie function – at the moment in late levels of growth,” says Niko. “We’re in search of beneficiant donors to assist us inform our story. All donations are 100% tax deductible! When you’re excited by extra – ship me an e mail at nikovitacco@gmail.com. We are able to arrange a name to debate the venture additional.”
If you wish to assist help the movie, go to: https://givebutter.com/guysnight
When you’d wish to learn extra articles that I really feel are necessary to share about males’s work, please go to me at https://menalive.com/.